conflict

Mediation process

As outlined in our Conflict Resolution & Member Nuisance policy, disputes can be resolved in a number of ways:

one-on-one directly between parties,
facilitated by a neutral roommate, or
conducted by a neutral third party – such as OpenDoor.

If you wish to request mediation support from OpenDoor, please fill out the “Request for Support form” on our Community Support Page to notify the appropriate staff members.

If you would like to try to resolve the conflict internally among roommates, you will find a template process below to follow. While we do recommend mediation training before running these sessions to effectively manage the emotions and nuances of conflict, there are many situations that can be worked out simply by coming together to talk it out.

Mediation Template:

*This template precludes that both parties recognize that a conflict/dispute exists and have reached out to a neutral housemate that they feel comfortable with facilitating a conversation.

Mediator interviews each party beforehand for ~30 minutes to understand their needs, wants, and desires from a mediation process.
Mediator sets ground rules for the session. We recommend the ground rules of Respect (refraining from personal outbursts & respecting the perspectives of the other party), Honesty (disclosing relevant information to the mediator), Confidentiality (that details should err on the side of privacy to support freedom to express), and Good Faith (that both parties are entering the space with the intention to resolve and find a workable solution).
Ideally a session is somewhere between 60-90 minutes long. Find a quiet place where you won’t be interuppted.
Agenda.
- - Welcome. Framing.
  - Introductory statements – Each party is given has 3 min to share what is important for them to express. Mediator sets a timer for sturcture. Mediator asks clarifying questions and takes notes to set an agenda based on items brought up. Switch to other party. Taking notes again.
  - Review agenda that has been formed through intro statements.
  - Go through agenda item by item. Negotiate & brainstorm solutions to each item one by one. Some may items may be emotional in nature – i.e. apologies, reckonings, expressing. Other items may be structural – agreements, ideas, changes to systems or behavior.
  - Take notes on what each party is agreeing to as they come up.
  - If things feel stuck, ask if you can speak to each party privately and then come back together.
  - Review the final items that have been agreed to. Make the items clear and actionable.
  - Follow-up ~1 week after to see how each is feeling.

Tips: Things can start to move fast when folks are in conflict. Use practicees like inviting one part to reflect back what they have heard (See: Giving & Receiving Feedback) to slow things down during the session.